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Maria vs. Food


Maria Edible says that competitive eating is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.

I’m arranging a meet-up with competitive eater Maria Edible when she e-mails me: Craving wings and beer. I start to perspire. I skip lunch to make room for pounds of flesh; I pack my pencil, pad, and Mylanta; I call my mother and tell her I love her.

Going against every voice in my head (and the actual one of my mother) I show up at Lansdowne Road, a bar in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City, that serves the fabled Scruffy Duffy’s Buffalo wings and scan the joint for Edible. If this were a sitcom I would walk by the pint-sized girl in the pantsuit and sit with a larger woman before the tiny lady waved me back over; this isn’t a sitcom, but that did still happen.

Edible lists herself at 5’5″, 125 pounds, but she must be rounding up. “Were you expecting someone bigger? Or is it my work clothes?” she asks. “I hate dressing like this but when you work in an office…”

It definitely was her size. Over the first beer she explains that competitive eaters have to work out to keep their metabolism up in order to burn off the insane number of calories. In my notes, I have a question about her size underlined and ending with several question marks—the first for punctuation, the next few because I’m not sure how to bring up something that should never be discussed at a restaurant. Luckily, the fourth-best female competitive eater in the country (29th overall) broaches the subject on her own. “I know when people think about what I eat and how I look—they believe I run to the bathroom after, but I don’t,” she says. A few of her competitors might, but she says that’s akin to a baseball player taking steroids or a cycler doping. “It’s competitive eating—not competitive purging.”


The waitress comes by and prods us to look at the menu. I stall and ask the woman who averages just under a cheesesteak per minute how she came into the world of competitive eating. “When I was depressed I would eat a lot,” she says.

“To fill the void of something missing?” I ask.

“No, to hurt myself,” she says and then pauses before continuing. “But it turns out I could really eat.” And the negative became a positive. “I started to go to places that would give you a free big burger if you finished it or a t-shirt if you ate some huge dish,” she says. “I have a lot of t-shirts.” Now she gets paid to eat at Major League Eating contests.

The waitress is back, and very persistent. I defer to the woman who has consumed more than half a gallon of chili in six minutes and 48 cupcakes in eight. I plan to match her wing order no matter how many dozen she requests. “I’ll take 12, mild,” she says. Done.


Edible sees my look of bewilderment followed quickly by relief and says, “I’m not currently in training.” I feel like a doofus who took a porn star on a date and expected something more than a kiss good night. “Leading up to a competition I eat whatever the competition food is. But if we ate like that all the time we would be broke or dead.” She writes off her grocery receipts when she does her taxes and bemoans the cost of certain foods now that she’s moved away from her parents’ house in suburban New Jersey to an apartment in New York City—the land of few supermarkets. “My parents don’t like competitive eating,” she explains. “So you know how some kids smoke in their rooms? I was cooking hot dogs on a hot plate in my bedroom.”

Then Edible commits sacrilege: “To be honest, I don’t like the taste of hot dogs.”

Her current personal high with meat in tube form is 20 in 10 minutes, but she thinks she’ll be able to take down 25 next Fourth of July at the Nathan’s Famous contest. “That’s the biggest event,” Edible says. “I travel to other contests on the weekends, but Nathan’s is the only one that is nationally televised.”

Edible has also been seen on television while not stuffing her face; she received her “Edible” stomach lettering from Tim Hendricks on NY Ink. “I just love my eater name, so I got it,” she says of the moniker she adopted to join the world of Eater X, Gravy Brown, and Crazy Legs Conti. Whenever I see a young woman with a stomach tattoo, I wince and think of her future. But Edible says, “I look like I’m pregnant after every competition and the ink hasn’t stretched.”


She started getting tattooed with the classic gateway piece, a tattoo stamped in the center of her lower back. I ask if her initial tattoo was provoked by the need to feel pain during a bout of depression, but she says that wasn’t the case: “I just thought tattoos were cool.” And she continues to get inked for the same reason. There is no philosophical weight behind her pieces—from the hypnotic portrait of Rasputin on her left thigh to the masquerade party going on across her back to the colorful sleeve of diner foods. “I just think those things are cool,” she says.

The wings are set on the table and we both dig in. “Is eating a sport?” I ask.

“I’d say so,” she says and takes a bite. “You are certainly using your body in competition.” She takes another bite as she gathers her thoughts. “You have to be strong physically and mentally to win.” While she’s telling me this, she is also showing me. Her hands and mouth work in synchronicity, like a pitcher going through the windup. She has a system of eating wings with flawless precision. Effortlessly, she strips a wingette (the more difficult, two-boned variety) clean quicker than I can dip a stick of celery into blue cheese dressing. And, like a gold-medal diver who finishes a rapid, technical dive without a splash, her face remains pristine in the wake of hot sauce. Her moist towelette remains in its foil package, unopened.

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    The group included four of the Lady Longhorns’ prime goal [url=]ミュウミュウ バッグ クラッチ[/url] scorers last year.

    With the 5 returning players, three had been fulltime starters and sophomore goalkeeper rotated in aim with graduated senior .

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    Treto and Rivera are captains and Palomares was the major [url=]オロビアンコ 口コミ[/url] objective scorer last season with 13 goals.

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  119. Punting into this storm sent averages plummeting

    Former Seattle Times reporter Don Duncan known as it “the most savage storm within the recorded history in the West Coast” in his 1989 book, “Washington, The initial one hundred [url=]リモワ 2輪[/url] Punting into this storm sent averages plummeting [url=]ミネトンカ ハワイ 値段[/url] Years.”

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    All sorts [url=]フランクフルト空港 rimowa[/url] of strange stuff happened.

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    The storm smashed into Oregon and sections of the roof at Multnomah Stadium in Portland blew off around the eve in the WashingtonOregon State game. The game went off as scheduled on Saturday, and the Huskies beat the Beavers and future Hesiman Trophy winner Terry Baker 1413.

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    Q: The Washington Music Educators Association and WIAA cosponsor solo and ensemble contests just about every year for singers and musicians. Given that [url=]リモワ アウトレット[/url] the commence [url=]ミズノ 靴 こども[/url] on the year 2000, which schools have had essentially the most topthree placements?

    A: Here are the schools with no less than [url=]ティンバーランド 登山[/url] a dozen topthree finishers in competition from 20002004, based on Bruce Caldwell, executive manager from the WMEA: Inglemoor 32, Garfield 28, Auburn 23, RogersPuyallup 22, Port Angeles 21, EvergreenVancouver 18, Wenatchee 18, Issaquah 17, Puyallup 17, Sehome 15, Richland 14, Capital 12, Mountain ViewVancouver 12, Newport 12, Olympia 12, Roosevelt 12.

    Q: Is it tougher as of late for any highschool coach to get into college coaching than it utilized to be?

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    Teaff mentioned one other new trend is coaches bouncing among the NFL and majorcollege staffs.

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    One young highschool coach who took the graduateassistant route to a college job is former Garfield head coach Luther Carr. He resigned his Garfield post in 2002, served as a Huskies grad assistant for a year, then was hired as wide receivers coach at Montana.

    Teaff mentioned it really is challenging financially on a highschool coach to go the GA route if the coach includes a household to assistance. In addition to the countless hours of football duties, the GA also has to take graduate courses. On the other hand, those credits aid earn a master’s degree, that is nearly essential at NCAA Division II and Division III and NAIA due to the fact smallcollege coaches often need to teach also as coach.

    Leon Burtnett, the Washington State linebacker coach whose 1st jobs have been at Kansas higher [url=]minnetonka 靴[/url] schools, noted that there can be fewer Division I jobs than there made use of to be due to NCAA staffsize restrictions.

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  120. Pistons fire coach Lawrence Frank immediately after 2 seasons

    AUBURN HILLS, Mich. Lawrence Frank’s tenure in Detroit is more than, and also the Pistons are still looking for a coach who can revive the franchise.

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    The subsequent new coach Detroit hires is going to be the team’s ninth given that 1999, and though the Pistons won a championship in 2004, their decline has been sharp in current years.

    “We thank Lawrence for his difficult perform and dedication, but we feel it is actually within the finest interest on the franchise to create a modify at this time,” team president Joe Dumars mentioned. “Decisions like this are never ever convenient and we want Lawrence well inside the future.”

    Owner Tom Gores, who took more than just ahead of Frank was hired, mentioned [url=]ミズノ スノーボード[/url] earlier this week he anticipated far better [url=]ミネトンカ キッズ サイズ選び[/url] outcomes [url=]ケイトスペード コインパース[/url] this season and was still assessing the future of both Frank and Dumars.

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    Detroit remained in title contention inside the years immediately following its 2004 championship, however the Pistons have not produced the playoffs considering that 2009. Right after Flip Saunders was fired in 2008, Michael Curry lasted only 1 season as coach and John Kuester created it through two.

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    Gores showed up for Detroit’s dwelling finale Monday and said [url=]ミネトンカ メンズ モカシン[/url] he was seeking forward for the offseason but that there required to be accountability for the team’s poor displaying.

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  121. BradleySl says:

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    Both [url=]ティンバーランド 履き方[/url] out of necessity and job requirement, the receivers have all learned to play split finish, flanker and “Z,” or slot receiver.

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  125. Big [url=]nike jordan 3 88[/url] Brown Kentucky Derby favourite from outdoors post

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  126. MatthewEa says:

    Rick Neuheisel back on center stage at UCLA

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    I will say this about it: Irrespective of what you assume of Neuheisel or The Seattle Occasions not his favorite each day it felt perfect. It feels proper that he ought to have a chance at coming back, that he ought not be sentenced forever to a faceless part in the NFL, even after he won five figures in NCAA basketball pools in 2002 and 2003.

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    By far the most polarizing figure in Washington history comes to Seattle on Nov. 15. He will stir all the old debates: master motivator, inspiration to Pasadena, or the flawed coach who started the Huskies’ embarrassing slide to oblivion?

  127. BrandonMi says:

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  128. Walterol says:

    Rockets extending contract of head coach Adelman

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  129. Samuelzep says:

    Bling Ring costume designer dishes on Paris Hilton

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    Before [url=]michael kors size[/url] arriving at Polytechnic, Sedberry was the offensive coordinator at Lake Highlands. He also served as a student coach at Greenville.

    Sedberry could be the just the fifth head coach at Lee. He follows Olin, who went 10678 with all the Ganders, establishing himself as the second winningest coach in Baytown history. He left to get a [url=]michael kors bag outlet online[/url] similar [url=]gucci outlet wrentham ma[/url] along with [url=]gucci dress for kids[/url] job at Lewisville.

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    “I am excited about this opportunity [url=]mens louboutin[/url] to carry on such rich traditions.”

    5A swimming regional wrapDeer Park sophomore was the only competitor in the Baytown/Pasadena area to medal at the Region VI5A Swimming Diving Championship last week at the Don Cook Natatorium.

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    The regional meet was dominated by Clements, which won the girls and boys group championships and claimed 22 total medals, six of them gold. Clear Lake finished second around the girls side and third around the boys.

    The Deer also had the top group finish, checking in 10th with 21 points due to topsix finishes inside the [url=]nike size[/url] 200 zero cost and 400 free relays. Sterling was 13th and Galena Park and South Houston had been 18th and 19th, respectively.

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    4A swimming regional wrapThe Class 4A teams from the [url=]clearance christian louboutin[/url] region did not possess a medalist in the Region V4A meet final week at . Crosby fared the top, finishing ninth around the girls side and 12th around the boys.

    The Lady Cougars’ 200 absolutely free relay team of Acadia Elles, , and finished fifth. That was the leading finish within the area.

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  131. DanielSib says:

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    Dallas reduce K Nick Folk, who’d missed seven of his final 11 attempts, and replaced him with Shaun Suisham. Suisham, who previously kicked for Dallas in 2005 and 2006, was released by Washington on Dec. eight following missing several [url=]gucci outlet bag tags inc[/url] kicks.

    Eagles coach Andy Reid mentioned it looks “pretty good” that RB Brian Westbrook will play this week. Westbrook has had two concussions this season and has missed 5 games given that the second one particular on Nov. 15.

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    Bruce Gradkowski would get the nod if he has recovered from his two sprained knees, and Charlie Frye will be next up assuming he gets more than the concussion that knocked him out Sunday and gave Russell the possibility [url=]coach sunglasses tortoise[/url] to lead the comeback.

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  134. RobertKr says:

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    Ashley Cole was producing his 100th Champions League appearance and he crafted the game’s 1st chance by teeing up Victor Moses for any volley that visiting goalkeeper Jesper Hansen blocked at his near post.

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    It took barely five minutes for Chelsea to restore their twogoal cushion, then again, as Cahill met Mata’s deep freekick using a powerful header that looped over the despairing Hansen.

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    Here’s the best way to equate the reprimand: If, in a postgame comment some other time, Montgomery took problem with a blockcharge call and said the official blew it, he’d probably get a reprimand from the [url=]バレンシアガ 韓国[/url] league.

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    Montgomery mentioned he planned to address it once again with his team, “just when it comes to lessons learned, with regards to the scrutiny we’re under, how anything can take off on you. You definitely need to be [url=]bally 店舗[/url] encouragement [url=]bally トートバッグ[/url] conscious of issues. (But) I never think anybody (around the team) feels threatened or anything.”

    No doubt Montgomery struck a nerve. But the maxim that a coach can never ever put hands on a player appears as well pat. It happens. You see coaches propel a player toward the scorer’s table to substitute, and occasionally it really is 50 % encouragement and 50 percent getyourbuttingear.

    I utilised to be about a college coach who would occasionally whack a player so really hard on the keister when he entered or left the floor that it was tantamount to a spanking. I bring it up to not invoke the daysofold mentality, but to underscore that coaches will find inventive ways to use more than their voices.

    Rewind to last fall, when a Washington State assistant football coach was below [url=]ベルスタッフ ジャケット[/url] scrutiny for allegedly roughing up linemen in the locker space at halftime at Utah Nov. three. What was portrayed to me was a great deal more [url=]大黒屋 バレンシアガ[/url] unearth [url=]アークテリクス マウンテンパーカー[/url] egregious than what Montgomery did, but without Tv cameras, it didn’t [url=]バレンシアガ ミニバッグ[/url] stick.

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    “Things have changed in how you’re able to deal with children,” he mentioned. “There’s a heightened sensitivity. (But) there’s nothing at all that makes it ideal. You will need to acknowledge that and push forward.”

    Bone said guard Mike Ladd (knee) is “doubtful” this week, and broached the possibility he may well not return this year. Ladd is a senior from Rainier Beach.

    The Pac12 gave Oregon C Tony Woods the goahead to play Thursday evening against Cal after his ejection against WSU for throwing an elbow against Brock Motum.

    Officiating was also around the [url=]アディダス スニーカー スタンスミス[/url] thoughts of Colorado coach Tad Boyle, who stated C Josh Scott is day to day having a concussion following [url=]adidas ステラマッカートニー[/url] a “body slam” by Arizona State. Boyle named it the “most physical game I’ve been a a part of as a player or coach in 25 years of basketball.”

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