Sex Lives of Inked People: Nocturnia


I worked on the business side of the music industry for some years and engaged in BDSM in my personal life with my partner. Being a professional dominatrix wasn’t in my crosshairs. It happened for a short time but was not something I was interested in pursuing long-term and full-time. It’s my fun.

Growing up, I was fascinated by the darker side of things—things considered taboo. I was just over 18 years old when I figured out I liked doing things that may seem different to some people. I did a lot of lightweight experimentation at first, but when I figured out I liked doing horrible things to wonderful people who asked very nicely, I was wide open to learning more and digging deeper.

For some, it’s 100 percent about the sex. For others, the rush, the power … any combination of those things. Everyone’s psychology and motivations are different. Nothing is cut-and-dried.

Good sex is good sex. I don’t compare “vanillasex” with BDSM goodies. For myself, that’s just a little unrealistic. Sometimes I like Granny Smith apples, other times McIntosh, sometimes bites of both in the same sitting.

When you meet with your fine dermal graph- ics artisan [tattoo artist], you’re putting yourself in front of someone to have something permanently added to you. It is a form of submission. But personally, most of the tattoos I have seen in-scene are on dominants rather than submissives.

My favorite tattoo is my latest: the octopus on my left forearm. She’s my rocktopus diving from the clouds to take care of business. She’s finished and a nice, bright shade of magenta. I usually have a lot on my plate, and sometimes I feel like I need eight arms to get everything done within certain time frames, either deadlines for life-stuff or self- imposed, but don’t we all? Also, imagine eight paddles at the same time ….

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