I worked on the business side of the music industry for some years and engaged in BDSM in my personal life with my partner. Being a professional dominatrix wasn’t in my crosshairs. It happened for a short time but was not something I was interested in pursuing long-term and full-time. It’s my fun.
Growing up, I was fascinated by the darker side of things—things considered taboo. I was just over 18 years old when I figured out I liked doing things that may seem different to some people. I did a lot of lightweight experimentation at first, but when I figured out I liked doing horrible things to wonderful people who asked very nicely, I was wide open to learning more and digging deeper.
For some, it’s 100 percent about the sex. For others, the rush, the power ... any combination of those things. Everyone’s psychology and motivations are different. Nothing is cut-and-dried.
Good sex is good sex. I don’t compare “vanillasex” with BDSM goodies. For myself, that’s just a little unrealistic. Sometimes I like Granny Smith apples, other times McIntosh, sometimes bites of both in the same sitting.
When you meet with your fine dermal graph- ics artisan [tattoo artist], you’re putting yourself in front of someone to have something permanently added to you. It is a form of submission. But personally, most of the tattoos I have seen in-scene are on dominants rather than submissives.
My favorite tattoo is my latest: the octopus on my left forearm. She’s my rocktopus diving from the clouds to take care of business. She’s finished and a nice, bright shade of magenta. I usually have a lot on my plate, and sometimes I feel like I need eight arms to get everything done within certain time frames, either deadlines for life-stuff or self- imposed, but don’t we all? Also, imagine eight paddles at the same time ....