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Fuck These Guys: Christopher William Lord and Matthew Francis Brady

Christopher William Lord and Matthew Francis Brady—two men from Queensland, Australia— thought that it would be a fun prank to tattoo an enormous penis on the back of a man without his consent and are going to be spending some time in a jail cell as a result. Fuck these guys.

On Monday Lord was sentenced to 12 months in prison after pleading guilty to assault occasioning bodily harm for assisting Brady tattoo the victim; Brady was sentenced to 12 months in prison in 2011, according to the Daily Mail.

Upon arriving at the unnamed victim’s house the two men started drinking with the victim and eventually convinced him to let them tattoo his back with a yin-yang symbol and a dragon. They then proceeded to tattoo the victim with a crudely drawn penis with the words “I Luv Cock” written underneath.

Many of us have gotten a hearty chuckle out of drawing vulgar things on our friends with a Sharpie after they’ve had a few too many; this act takes that harmless prank to a criminal extreme. A good shower can remove the marker from your body while a tattoo is a bit more difficult to get rid of.

Just in case you aren’t already blindingly furious at these two imbeciles for tattooing a 16-inch long penis on an unsuspecting victim it actually gets worse; the man Brady and Lord took advantage of is bi-polar and autistic.

Judge Greg Koppenol didn’t mince words as he sentenced Lord.

“It was a miserable offence,” Koppenol said. “You’ve acted miserably toward a vulnerable young man with a significant disability.”

Thankfully there was a good Samaritan out there that didn’t want the victim to spend the rest of his days walking around with a poorly drawn penis on his back nor force him to go through the painful process required to remove the tattoo. Matthew Tredgold from Ultimate Image Tattooing covered up the horrific work free of charge.

So, in summation, these two men thought it would be funny to get a mentally-disabled man drunk so he would give them permission to give him a tattoo. Then once they had earned his trust they decided to tattoo him with a vulgar (and very poorly drawn) image that would embarrass him for the rest of his life. What complete assholes. Fuck these guys.