10 Things That Are More Likely To Happen Than Winning the Powerball

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You can't win it if you're not in it. And you probably can't win it even if you are in it.

Hopeful Americans that have lined the sidewalks outside of hundreds of 7-Elevens have basically no chance of winning the Powerball whatsoever. It's been seemingly forever since anyone won (hence the huge jackpot) and when someone finally does it will be completely attributed to dumb luck.

It's likely you bought a ticket, as did every other American, providing you a chance to win the grand jackpot grossing $1.4 BILLION—yes, BILLION—a total cash value $868 million after taxes. Your odds? 1 in 292.2 million. You have a greater chance of being killed by a vending machine. A much, much greater chance. Good luck.

SO WHO THE F IS GOING TO WIN THIS THING? Hopefully this guy:

Just so you understand how little chance you have in winning this insane jackpot here is a list of ten outlandish things that are more likely to happen than you holding a bigass check for $1.4 billion on Wednesday night.