The Black Whopper is probably the most-hardcore fast-food offering to come to our drive-thrus. Yes, the Black Whopper is a touch too tangy, yes, the Black Whopper turned our poo blue and green, but still, we admire the balls on the King for bringing something so \m/-looking to the play-it-safe market of the masses. You know what other fast-food company plays by their own rules? Carl’s Jr./Hardees. Their ads have featured the lovely Kate Upton, Nina Agdal and Heidi Klum just getting absolutely graphic with their burgers. Those women are beautiful but a little too precious for our predilections. We like a girl with a little bit of edge, depth and flavor. We like girls with tattoos, piercings and a bit of bite to them. So, with no affiliation to Burger King whatsoever—seriously, we crumpled up a $20 dollar bill into the hands of an intern and pointed him in the direction of the nearest BK—we thought we’d pay homage to both the Black Whopper and the ads of Carl’s Jr./Hardees with a video of our own. The lovely tattooed model you will see wolfing down the burgers is Leigh Raven. Please do enjoy, and if you stop by a Burger King, we could use a handful of napkins to clean all this up.