Skip to main content

Ahh, back to the Am I The Asshole thread on Reddit.

This mom threatens to leave husband after he refuses to change a tattoo of their children’s names. One of those children had changed their name from Andy* to Athena, as they are transitioning genders, and would only like to be identified with female pronouns.

For the Reddit poster’s side, the tattoo was all done at the same time after his youngest was born, as the 42-year-old father 'knew she would be his last'.

While the dad doesn't see it as a big deal, given that laser removal would be necessary and he doesn’t want to invest in the finances (or pain) of that, this tattoo has sparked a huge debate… a debate more controversial than Chrissy Teigen’s Holocost ink.


The Reddit poster says: "My wife immediately supported her and made sure that I would too without any argument or else she would divorce me… It was a huge family issue for a while but eventually it was solved and everything has been good for the last little while. I'm slowly learning more and trying to accept my daughter and her new pronouns and her name change."

Athena and this father’s wife sat dad down to explain that the tattoo on his arm, which still reads Andy* was hurting his daughter and putting a strain on their relationship. His wife told him she wanted him to get the tattoo touched up to read correctly, but he argued it wasn't that simple.

When the dad argued the tattoo was a "non issue," he says Athena yelled at him, calling him a “shitty father” and telling him that if he doesn't support her there will be no place for him in her life.

His wife threatened to take the children to go and stay with her parents but he feels it's a “bigger problem than it should be.”

Is the father being insensitive, or not sensitive enough? Is it a matter of his body, his choice at this point?

He ends the post asking: "I'm basically just wondering if I'm the asshole in this situation?"

Some users argued that he is right in that the tattoo is an isolated issue, and tattoo removal is costly and time sensitive. Others said that if the tattoo is an issue for Athena, he should do it. She just wants him to acknowledge her new identity, and wants to be accepted.

Another added: "Reading between the lines, it sounds like 'I was so resistant to accepting my child was trans that my wife had to threaten to divorce me before I grudgingly accepted it'."

What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments section on Facebook!