Pigeons are beautiful creatures. Yes, you read that correctly. And no, I'm not talking about doves or some other pigeon relative who gets all the glory. I'm talking about the run-of-the-mill pigeons. The birds that routinely eat chicken wings in the gutter. The birds who fly directly at your head whenever a car comes by. The birds who cover roughly half of every urban area with their own feces. These pigeons are beautiful creatures. This guy gets it:
Anybody can take a little joy in watching the way they hop around with their necks bobbing back and forth. Even a jaded nihilist such as myself can see the splendor in the pigeons are able to go from eating garbage to flying high above the city streets in an instant. Pigeons are glorious and so are pigeon tattoos.
Which is why I was so horrified with what I came upon during a nice leisurely stroll—a bloody pigeon leg.
To be clear, there was no corpse. No other body parts strewn about. Just a leg with a little blood at the tip. What in the world happened to the rest of the pigeon? Is there a one-legged pigeon flying around NYC somewhere? Is there a market for state-of-the-art pigeon prosthetics where the poor fella can go and grab himself a new leg, thus turning himself into the Darth Vader of pigeons? Or did some hungry, but a little bit bougie, dog chow down on all of the tasty parts and discard the leg as detritus unworthy of consumption?
In all probability I'll never get to the bottom of this mystery. For one, I'm not very good at problem solving. If I was better at it I would have a much more admirable profession than "tattoo journalist." Secondly, I'm not trying very hard. Despite the hundreds of hours of Columbo I have watched, I don't even know how to begin an investigation such as this. Let alone find the culprit and bring them to justice. Hell, I wouldn't even know which authorities to bring the bad guy too once I've made that citizen arrest.
Instead I wrote this article. Does it assuage a tiny morsel of the guilt I've been hanging on to since spying the pigeon leg? Not really. But, more importantly, did it fulfill my daily quota of "tattoo journalisms?" Yes, yes it did.
Gaze upon these pigeon tattoos. Enjoy them. Then head out into the world among the real pigeons and enjoy them as well. And if you get any tips as to this ongoing cold case, drop a line to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject "Solving The Great Pigeon Mystery."