I very clearly remember when I first heard that Roger Stone had a black and grey tattoo of Richard Milhous Nixon.
"Bullshit," I exclaimed. "The dude looks like a cut-rate Batman villain, but there is no fucking way that he has a tattoo of Nixon. Show me."
And then I saw it. My jaw dropped and I'm relatively confident that I could hear the sounds of an angelic choir behind me. The tattoo is... glorious.
Look at it. Gaze deep into Nixon's eyes. We'll wait.
This tattoo is perfect. The placement, the subject matter and, most importantly, the man proudly showing it off. You can almost hear the former president proclaiming that he's not a crook, when, of course, he was very much a crook. And so is Stone.
Stone got his start in politics working on Nixon's 1972 presidential campaign. It should come as no surprise that he jumped right into the political cesspool, infamously donating money to one of Nixon's rivals in the name of the Young Socialist Society. Stone has maintained over the years that he wasn't involved in the Watergate Scandal, but would you really be surprised if he was?
Stone was convicted on all seven counts that he was up against—five counts of lying to Congress, one count of witness tampering and one count of obstructing a Congressional committee meeting. He has yet to be sentenced, but it is very likely that he will be doing some time in prison.
Perhaps he'll be able to add to his tattoo collection while incarcerated. Might we suggest a portrait of a smiling Trump to help memorialize his time working with WikiLeaks. Maybe he'll even get tattoos of the truly horrendous dictators that he lobbied for in the 1980s—Mobutu Sese Seko and Ferdinand Marcos. But even the finest jailhouse tattooer would have trouble replicating the perfection of the Nixon portrait.
It will be a long time until we find a person with a more fitting, and frankly, hilarious, tattoo. Thanks, Roger Stone.