Doot doot doot, doo doo doo doo... Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. I was just humming the Super Mario Bros. theme song for roughly the billionth time of my life. I haven't played the original Super Mario Bros. for at least a decade, but I still wake up with that tune in my head at least twice a week.
Everybody remembers the first video game they fell in love with, and for me the answer should already be glaringly obvious. That being said, I didn't particularly care for the chubby Italian plumber nor his lanky brother. What enthralled me most was all of the creatures who wanted nothing more than to wreck Mario's day. The Koopa Troopas, the Goombas, the Piranha Plants—they were all so fascinating to me. Honestly, I didn't understand why I had to play as the boring old plumber and not one of these wild creatures.
Maybe I was just a weird little kid—and arguably an even weirder adult—but I wanted to play as Bowser or Birdo or even that jerk in the cloud who throws a bunch of spiky armadillos at Mario.
Thus, if I were to get a tattoo of any character from Super Mario Bros. there is no way in hell that I would get one of those dullard brothers. I'd probably get Bullet Bill or King Boo. Perhaps a humble little Koopa Troopa, but definitely not one of the ones with the wings. Those dudes were too ostentatious for me. How cool would it be if you could get a tattoo of Boo that moves on your body but freezes when people look at it? Scientists! Stop attempting to invent clean energy resources or searching for a cure to cancer and get on this. Immediately.
While we wait, enjoy this gallery of our favorite Super Mario Bros. baddies.