Woman Uses a Potato as Birth Control! What Happened Next?

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Not the smartest move!

Throughout the ages there have been some interesting items used as a means of contraception all with varying degrees of weirdness and success. Everything from Coca Cola to weasel testicles to ancient people suing crocodile poop have been used by women for centuries. Well, a 22-year-old sexually active Colombian woman, (her real name has been omitted for reasons of privacy and fear of dying of embarrassment), so she will be referred to as Ms. Potato Panties in this article.

Well, Ms. Potato Panties sought some contraception advice from her dear old mom, who professed to have a "fail proof method," all she had to do was shove a potato up her lady parts. She even joked and said, “Put a whole potato in the oven, and you won't make (tater) tots.”

Now here’s what happened…

Woman-and-Potato_shviliegon-faganel
Okay, so apparently Ms. Potato Panties takes the advice of her mom and proceeds to go out and have unprotected sex. Why not, she has a tuber up her vagina. The act is over, but instead of extricating the spud from her love canal she leaves it in there. No, I don’t know why.

Okay, so apparently Ms. Potato Panties takes the advice of her mom and proceeds to go out and have unprotected sex. Why not, she has a tuber up her vagina. The act is over, but instead of extricating the spud from her love canal she leaves it in there. No, I don’t know why.

If you know anything about storing vegetable, then you know potatoes should be kept in a cool, we ventilated/dry space. Not a warm, moist dark space, or they will begin to sprout roots. Which is exactly what this potato apparently did inside this woman’s body.

If you know anything about storing vegetable, then you know potatoes should be kept in a cool, we ventilated/dry space. Not a warm, moist dark space, or they will begin to sprout roots. Which is exactly what this potato apparently did inside this woman’s body.

After two weeks, this poor woman began to experience excruciating abdominal pain and could not figure out why…that is until she spotted roots peeking out from her vagina!

After two weeks, this poor woman began to experience excruciating abdominal pain and could not figure out why…that is until she spotted roots peeking out from her vagina!

The shocked medical staff were able to remove the potato (and its roots) without surgery, and the woman is making a complete recovery.

The shocked medical staff were able to remove the potato (and its roots) without surgery, and the woman is making a complete recovery.

On a positive note the use of the potato was an effective contraceptive since she was in fact not pregnant!

On a positive note the use of the potato was an effective contraceptive since she was in fact not pregnant!